Secular ceremony: create a truly personal moment.

Start with what you really want to say.

Before choosing the texts.

Before the rituals.

Even before the music.

There is one essential question:

Perhaps your encounter.

But not necessarily.

Your relationship can be told through many other things.

A ceremony doesn't need to recount your entire relationship chronologically.

She can simply choose a few fragments that say a lot.

Build up the emotion gradually.

The entrance is already part of the ceremony.

It doesn't only begin when the bride and groom arrive.

It begins with the first people in the procession.

• the parents; ;
• the witnesses; ;
• the bridesmaids and groomsmen; ;
• possibly the children; ;
• then the bride and groom.

This progression allows for the creation of a genuine emotional build-up.

Music obviously plays a huge role.

But it's not necessary to change the piece for each person.

To tell a story without becoming the center of attention.

The officiant has a particularly delicate role.

He must guide.

Set the pace.

To sometimes create humor.

Let the emotion show.

And at the same time, knowing when to step back.

A successful ceremony should never give the impression that the officiant is telling their own story.

He must create enough space so that yours may appear.

Give them something to talk about, rather than simply "giving a speech".

Ask someone:

«"Do you want to give a speech at our ceremony?"»

can be quite intimidating.

And this sometimes results in very long interventions that aim to tell an entire life story.

Another possibility is to give a direction.

• What memory best represents our relationship for you?
• What has changed since we met?
• What advice would you like to give us going forward?
• What moment with us still makes you laugh today?

Write as you speak.

The vows can become one of the most impressive moments to prepare.

Because suddenly, we would need to find the perfect words.

But perfect words are rarely necessary.

What matters more is that when you say them, the person you're talking to might think:

You can talk about a memory.

From a difficulty overcome together.

From an insignificant habit that you adore.

What you admire in the other person.

And even slip in a funny line if that's your style.

Wishes don't need to be literary.

They simply have to to be true.

Keep only those that actually tell a story.

Candle.

Sand.

Ribbons.

TREE.

Time capsule.

There are a huge number of possible rituals.

But a secular ceremony has absolutely no obligation to contain one.

The ritual works when it has real meaning.

• a letter to be opened in ten years; ;
• parental intervention; ;
• something created with your children; ;
• an object linked to your story; ;
• or simply the exchange of alliances.

Create the soundtrack for your ceremony.

Music can completely transform a moment.

The arrival of the guests.

The procession.

The alliances.

An intervention.

The exit.

Each sequence can possess its own atmosphere.

A piece related to your meeting.

A song you've listened to a lot.

A title linked to your family history.

Or a contemporary song completely transformed when played on the violin.

The question remains:

What is this music telling us?

Knowing when to stop while everyone else still wants to listen.

A secular ceremony offers a great deal of freedom.

And that's precisely its biggest trap.

Because it becomes possible to add:

• an intervention; ;
• then a second one; ;
• a text; ;
• a ritual; ;
• music; ;
• an anecdote; ;
• then another speech.

And a moment that was supposed to be intense gradually begins to drag on.

The ideal duration obviously depends on the content.

But one thing remains true:

Emotion becomes tiring when asked to last too long.

To finish with a completely different energy than at the beginning.

The entrance has something solemn about it.

Everyone is waiting.

Emotions are rising.

The output can become exactly the opposite.

You are married.

The guests applaud.

The tension disappears.

The music becomes brighter.

The petals can fly.

The procession follows.

And a few meters further on, the cocktail party begins.

This is one of those moments where a real musical breakthrough can have a huge impact.

Something that the guests are familiar with.

An unexpected piece.

A much more energetic reprise played on the violin.

The goal is simple:

to make everyone understand that the celebration has truly begun.

We can obviously draw inspiration from it.

Reading texts.

Discover rituals.

Record dozens of ideas.

But when it comes to building your ceremony, you must gradually remove anything that could be interchangeable.

A generic sentence.

A meaningless ritual.

Music chosen solely because it is romantic.

A speech added simply to fill space.

And keep everything that possesses a real reason to be there.